The Tea So Far: Summarised
Chapter One
AMI, our robot overlord, announced a State of Emergency, sending us all running to our homes to cower and reflect on the questionable activities we partook in during that year’s fair. She was looking for ‘The One’, yet it still remained unclear if she ever found her. Her broadcasts eventually faded to nothing more than TV Screens glitching, and then everything went dark. Drones fell from the sky, my blockcraft save was corrupted, and we lost all archives. The money you put in your bank from your less than minimum wage kebab shop job? Gone.
We emerged from our homes slightly confused. It was unclear when the power came back, or how long we were inside (I don’t even know how old I am). When I came out of my hole, the fair was gearing up for another great year of festivities, and everyone seemed to be getting on alright.
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After sleuthing around a bit, we discovered AMI had left behind six ‘seeds’. Following these led us to find AMI’s final message. She had found ‘The One’, or rather ‘The One’ had found her. This mysterious figure turned out to be Elen, the real life human who AMI had been based off. AMI had decided that all human life was a plague on the planet, and the environmental damage we were doing was unacceptable. She decided to put us in time out to sort out our wrongdoings, so we were all stuck inside for a bit. But Elen had had a chat with her and helped her discover her humanity, which was why AMI disappeared, she had seen her errors and decided to shut herself down. But where was Elen now? That would be the question that plagued us for the next two years.
Chapter Two
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With the news about Elen's existence taking the city by storm, everyone and their quack dealer was looking for her. The Boomtown Bobbies wanted to put her in prison for causing AMI's shutdown, but the Free Fool Federation in OldTown heralded her as Boomtown's Hero. She had freed us from the robot overlord.
After chasing many, many leads, we came up short handed. Elen was nowhere to be found, but the city voted that she was indeed a friend. She had helped AMI find her humanity after all! Who knows what AMI might've made of us had she not shut herself down.
Chapter Three
With Elen being MIA, we turned our attentions to Boomtown's leadership. Boomtown's six districts were divided, and someone, somewhere, decided we needed unity. Or a leader who could manipulate the whole lot of us.
The Network, a group who seemed obsessed with eating grass and worshiping a great mushroom beneath the earth, sought to expose the corruption in Boomtown. They were searching for tea, and we heeded that call. The Network helped us expose each district leader and their devious plans. They had a message for us, delivered by Elen herself at the Network rally. We need not follow these dastardly devils into a bleak future, for There Is Another Way.
Despite that, we totally all voted for The Collector even though he was letting tentacle monsters in through his portals. It was less about his policies and more about his cool wizard aesthetic, I think.
After we had all finished screaming and swooning at The Collector's great victory during The Closing Ceremony, a strange voice spoke to us. It was a bit shifty but our best guess is that it was the mystical mushroom The Network worship: 10NA. They told us that Another Way Is Possible. I'm thinking maybe the mushroom and Elen follow the same 'Inspiring Quotes for Queens' Instagram page.
Chapter Four
The team at TeaBoom! had voted for The Collector as our leader, so we were eager to see what changes he would bring to the city. Billboards were put up all over town showing our glorious new leader, but it looked like someone had a little blunder with Facetune, as he appeared to have five fingers. He also had his mates on the billboard: Aurora Venturestone was the new Chief of Communications for Boomtown, and Mr Biga (The Collector’s right hand man) was now Chief of The Guardians, Boomtown’s new police force. The Guardians were enforcing martial rule across the city, issuing fines for offenses as trivial as ‘Eating ice cream too aggressively’.
Awkwardly, a gigantic portal appeared out of the ground underneath Origin, splitting the landmark in half! We swear the fair is like Christmas in EastEnders, can we never just have a nice, normal time? It's always portals and cheating scandals.
The Network was once again asking the citizens of Boomtown for aid. It was pretty clear that the dodgy looking Collector was not in fact The Collector, and digging around led us to find out that Mr Biga had imprisoned The Collector, and Aurora Venturestone was modelling for motion capture videos to make deepfakes of him! The two of them were in cahoots in imprisoning our chosen leader, looking to take over Boomtown for themselves! They even got married! Congratulations btw Aurora, but please leave your stinky dictator man at home when we go out to E-Numbers.
It wasn’t just The Collector that was giving pure dodge vibes, it was also this portal malarkey. It was broadcasting strange visions at night, showing what can only be described as a slightly concerning hellscape, but with a sick post apocalyptic aesthetic. Whilst I do believe this would bring about an iconic fashion moment, it would probably suck for like partying and finding somewhere to buy a bit of scran. Our sleuthing led us to find out that the portal was opened by 10NA in order to show us a vision of our future if we carried on letting these corrupt leaders rule over us from the shadows.
The Network had been secretly harbouring The Collector, who seemed to be kicking back relaxing with them. At The Closing Ceremony, he and The Network exposed Mr Biga and Aurora for their devious crimes. The Guardians sought to take control of The Lion's Gate Portal, whilst The Collector sought to stop them. Using the power of the people and some abra kadabra magic stuff, he managed to win in his epic fight, closing the portal and saving us all. For now.
In Chapter Five: A Radical Redesign, we the citizens will have to alter our ways in order to stop 10NA's terrible visions becoming our future.